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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

AGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have finally decided that my high risk doctors are RE-TAR-DED. Seriously. I'm so seriously fed up with them, that I am now looking for a different doctor. I didn't want to do that, especially since I'm half way through already, and switching means I'd have to go through record transfers, initial examinations, etc...again. But I really can't handle feeling like my baby is in potential danger. I'm not kidding. These people have NO clue what they're doing! But after learning what I did today, all I could do was laugh hysterically at the sheer madness of it all!

So, if any of you are completely in love with your OB's or have prego friends who love theirs here in the Clear Lake area, I'm taking names!!!

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Sad realizations of pregnancy

-Pregnant women do NOT glow. They sweat, have pimples, and get flushed cheeks. It is not pretty. People who tell you that you're glowing, are trying to be nice. They are lying to you.

- Your hair growth rate is ri-DIC-ulous! Sure, some if it is hormones, some of it is prenatal vitamins, but the end result is the same. You come out looking like a werewolf.

- Shaving becomes a feat of acrobatic talent. I feel like I'm trying out for cirque du soleil. And the sheer difficulty of that leads to giving up shaving...which leads to more of the werewolf look.

- Your primal instincts kick in. In my case, I growled at a waiter who took my fries off the table before I was done. He brought them back. lol

-The piggy look sucks. And anyone who tells you that it will go away after you give birth is lying. It only goes away if you happen to be one of those people who gets off on OCD exercising. And if you ARE one of those, I feel so inclined to warn CPS that maybe your newborn isn't being looked after. *sticking out my tongue*

- Not being able to write with a pen because your fingers resemble sausages really sucks.

- Not being able to wear any shoes other than flip flops because your toes resemble sausages really sucks.

- Feeling like you're living in Chernoble because your ass is spewing noxious, radioactive gases against your will sucks. It makes you hope your baby doesn't come out with 2 heads or 4 arms from being in such close proximity.

- Suddenly hating your favorite food is sad. Suddenly having a craving for sushi with mayo and onions is even sadder. Thank GOD I don't have that craving, but it gets my point across.

- Getting stuck on the doctor's table flat on your back for the first time is a unique experience. This is the point where you realize that the whole Life Alert thing is a pretty good idea after all!

- Realizing that you'd be too embarrassed to actually USE Life Alert and having a 5 minute fantasty imagining all the different scenarios you could be stuck on your back and different ways to roll yourself over and get up is unique to pregnant women and seniors. Kind of sad, huh?

- Your mind wanders CONSTANTLY. You get pregnancy brain, which means you drift off into lala land quite often. You forget words you've known all your life (well, not forget, but you have the tip-of-the-tongue experience a LOT). This is a potentially embarrassing situation. Especially if you are in public, like maybe in the middle of ordering your favorite, complicated, drink from Starbucks. "Yes, I'd like a triple mocha caramel...uhh...what's that word...you know..like coffee, but it's not coffee....uhhh...YEAH...cappucino..that's it!" Having it happen at work really sucks too. "Yes boss, I finished the project on the...well, the umm..thingy...that has a chart, that's shaped like an.,..umm...well, uh you know."

Friday, January 4, 2008

Growing Pains

So, it's definitely getting to the point where my belly is growing rapidly. I swear every week I can notice a difference. Mostly it's just the way my clothes fit, but I am now FULLY in maternity clothes! 2 weeks ago, I could still fit into most of my pre-prego shirts, but none of my pants. NOW, if I try to put on a shirt, I can't get it over my boobs! I feel like I've tripled in size since Christmas! lol Of course, I really haven't, but my belly has definitely had a growth spurt....and my hips, and my thighs....oh hell, just about all of me. There, I admit it!

It's a pretty unsettling experience. I can't even see my feet anymore. :-( I THOUGHT I was prepared for it since I've gone through it before. But nobody TOLD me that you show earlier, faster, and sometimes larger the 2nd time around! Ack! Talk about a well-guarded secret. I think it's a conspiracy to make women think, "Oh it wasn't so bad last time. I didn't really get big until the 3rd trimester...Oh hell, I can do that again!" WHAT THE F*** EVER! Ughh.

To give you an example, a girl I work with is pregnant too. She's about 7 and a half months right now. My stomach is TWICE the size of hers!! And it's not that I'm fatter than her or anything. I'm a LOT taller, which normally would mean I would appear skinnier....but NOPE, I have a gigantic stomach! It's kind of weird that people assume that I'm in my 3rd trimester. I've already had several comments about how I must be glad to only have a couple of months left. Yeah right! lol

When I tell people that I'm only a little over 4 months, they either don't believe me and ASSUME that I have misjudged my due date (I think that is one of the rudest, most stuck-up, idiotic things I have ever heard), or that I'm having a large baby. Of course, having a big baby wouldn't surprise me...you HAVE seen Dean, right?? He even thinks so too. He even suggested the name Gigantor for a boy, or Giganterella for a girl. Yeah, like THAT's gonna happen, but you get the point. lol

I need to take some more baby belly pics and get those posted, but I think I'm gonna need Dean's help on that one! I'm going to try to get those done within the next week. I have a doctor's appointment Monday, so maybe I can have them up by then. :-)