I realize...

...the world is full of stupid people. I have no patience for stupid people. You should all be shot.

RULES FOR JOB SEEKING:

1.) Put a damn phone number on your damn resume. Employers and recruiters HATE not being able to contact you because you're stupid.

2.) Make sure you are searching for jobs in your area (especially in the same damn state you live in) unless you plan on relocating. I don't like wasting my time on you because you're stupid.

3.) JUST because you made your own website and application video to try out for "The Apprentice" does NOT entitle you to a 6 figure salary. Yeah, you think you're clever. I don't.

4.) If your resume contains grammatical or spelling errors I'm probably not going to call you. (The following is an excerpt from an ACTUAL resume I received today.)
"I like to get a job where my skillz working with da public is going to show."
YEEEAAAHHH....I don't think I need to show you the rest. I about died laughing....NEXT!

5.) If you apply to customer service, you canNOT say that you do not want to interact with customers. Suurrreee...you know what? I'm going to hire you to sit on your ass ALL day and pick your nose while the person next to you does your job....You're stupid.

6.) PLEASE do not talk your damned head off for 30 minutes and not let the person who called you get a word in edgewise. Especially, do not talk so damned much she can't even tell you she needs to put you on hold to answer the 50 calls she's missed since she made the mistake of calling YOU.

7.) If you don't speak English, don't bother. I don't like wasting time saying "No hablo espanol" and listening to you repeat "He..llo? Spanny? He..llo? He..llo? Speak Spanny?" for 20 minutes.

8.) If my ad says, "Local dist. company has 6 openings
*Mktg/Events coordinating*
*Sales*
*Customer Service Liason*
*Administration*
All openings F/T days/No felonies
Call ME @ *** *** *****"
then do NOT call about a fictitious warehouse position. Did the ad say warehouse?? No?? Oh, well, I'm sorry. Good luck next time. Dumb ass. Same thing with the felonies. Can you read?? If I do a background check and something pops, I'm gonna be pissed, you're not going to have a job, and I'm going to call you stupid to your face.



*Whew* I needed to get that out. Dealing with retards is a constant in my position, but if I don't vent, my head is going to blow up like a balloon and explode like in a cartoon. :-)