Thursday, February 26, 2009

Wow. It's been quite a while since I've blogged. I decided to put myself through blogger-detox which led to blogger-withdrawal. Strangely though, I haven't had any blogger-cravings in a few days.

Don't think I've forgotten everyone though! I haven't. I still read everyone's blog...I guess just lurking around, but for a while I just didn't have anything to say.

Strange, I know. No need to check my forehead for fever. No need to make me stick out my tongue and say "Ahhh." I'm not sick! lol

It's been a crazy-busy place around here for a while. Between work and physical therapy, I usually don't even get home until after 7:00pm. Sometimes later. I'm soooooooooooo tired! lol

Speaking of which, I have noticed that the standard physical therapists office is starting to look a lot more like a medieval torture chamber these days than what it looked like just a few years ago.

It starts out innocently enough...nice, clean waiting room. No interesting magazines...just yawn-inducing medical booklets on various health topics. Standard issue half -wall with the cutout window separating the patients from the receptionist, or whomever happens to be sitting at the window.

Then you're called back onto the "floor." I really don't think the term "floor" can accurately describe a space that is packed with padded tables, machines, exercise equipment, etc. Hell, you can barely SEE the floor! lol

In the middle of this floor is a GIGANTIC bed. A padded rubber bed....that is probably 2 times bigger than a king size bed. It even has pillows. Sounds nice and comfy, huh?

Then they whip out this hard foam roller. It's about 7-8 inches thick and about 3-4 feet tall. They lay it on the bed....and tell you to climb on. Oookkkkaaaaaaayyyyy. So, you sit on the end of this foam roller. Just so you know, I may not have the..ahem...sensitive equipment down below that a man does, but sitting on this thing feels like you're sitting on a tree trunk. It's HARD. I have no clue how they can get away with calling it "foam."

Then, they have you LAY on the foam roller, with your butt at one end and your head at the other. Remember, I said it's only about 7-8 inches thick. Yeah...figure out the mechanics of that. It hurts like a BITCH. The roller directly comes into contact with your spine.

So, now you're balanced on this stupid roller, trying to keep it from rolling out from under you or from falling off. Then they tell you to reach both arms up and then back down at the same time, like you're punching the sky. Torture, I tell ya.

After more various tortures exercises involving the foam roller, you move on to a regular padded table, like they have at most doctor's offices. Except they're longer, and..surprisingly, pretty damn comfortable.

Until they tell you to lay on your stomach scooted all the way to one side of the table. Now your left (or right, depending on what arm you're using) arm and part of your side is hanging into space. And you find yourself desperately holding on with dear life with your other arm. If that's not enough, you have to do various exercises with that arm that's hanging off...with weights. Like you're not already having balance issues.

After a few repetitions of that, now you're onto cervical traction. WHOA HOLD UP! What the hell did you just say??? Cervical what?? Who?? WTF!

Exactly. WTF is right. If you have claustrophobia, it's not for you. If you have issues with being tied down, it's not for you. However, if you're game, they strap your neck into this machine with a strap across your forehead holding you in. Then they slowly increase the pounds of pressure, and your neck is pulled. Yeeeaaaaahhhhhhh. As in feels like it's getting pulled off.

So, at this point, you're gauging the distance between you and the exit, trying to figure if you can run fast enough with this thing attached to your neck and head.

When that's over, you move to yet ANOTHER padded table. And they bring you electrodes. Yep. Electrodes. "What are those?", you may ask. in electricity. As in things they stick on your back to conduct electricity into your body. Yeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

Now, I may surprise you here. Even though it resembles a torture chamber, and for the most part, the exercises are painful and difficult, I enjoy the HELL out of the TENS Unit. I actually do have a miniature one at home that I use from time to time. And I can stand the cervical traction, if I HAVE to. Barely. Sort of.

Even though physical therapy in general is uncomfortable, it does seem to be helping. I have another round of it tonight, so I'm definitely going to cut this short. Otherwise, I'll ramble all night!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

No Rules!

So, a few days ago Ashley tagged me for a "No Rules Meme."

And, I kind of ignored it since I was really, REALLY, really tired at the time. And then I just forgot about it...

And then she reminded me that she tagged

So, here we go!

1. For some reason, I almost always repost stuff like this on MySpace, but rarely on Blogger. I'm not sure why...kind of weird, I guess. I'm not even sure WHY I do all of those on MySpace anyways. It's not like everyone on there needs to know all the random "get to know me" crap. They're already my friends (or they SHOULD be! lol), and for the most part I know the majority of them in person, so they already know the stuff that I share! lol

2. I HATE not being busy. At work, I can't JUST do one thing at a time. I HAVE to multi-task or I go insane. For example, if I'm making calls, I HAVE to finish or start working on a spreadsheet of some sort. If I'm making bundles, I HAVE to sing along to the radio. If I'm on a conference call, I HAVE to write a I'm doing now...or check e-mail.

3. I have lived in 7 different states: Arkansas, South Carolina, Texas, Kansas, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and for 5 weeks in Virginia. Even though I was born in Little Rock and live in Houston now, Amarillo will always be HOME to me. Even though it's home, I barely know anyone there anymore! lol My family is either in Arkansas or here in Houston with me. All my high school and college friends grew up and moved away...just like I did.

4. My house is a disaster area. I can barely keep up with the mess sometimes. It would be easier, I suppose, if I didn't work full time, didn't have horrible back problems, and oh yeah..if I didn't have kids! lmao. I'm just going to blame it on them. Because, it's THEIR fault the kitchen floor isn't mopped and the dishes are in the sink instead of the dishwasher. It's THEIR fault that my clothes aren't all hung on hangers in the closet. Yep. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

5. I am not "stay at home mom" material. I tried it for a little bit, and I will kill something if I have to do it again. No, that is not something you should call CPS about. I would never harm my children! Don't take things so seriously next time! I am just not a very patient person, and if I wanted to walk behind somebody and clean up after them ALL day long and all NIGHT long, I'd be a personal maid and get paid for it. If I wanted to listen to whining ALL day long, I'd go work in a veterinary clinic. At least the whining wouldn't include the phrase, "Mooommmmmyyyyy! I don't WAAAANNNNNNNTTTTTTTT to!"

6. I like pickles at the bottom of my strawberry milkshake. No, it's not a pregnancy thing. I actually liked it BEFORE I had kids. I like to dip french fries in vanilla ice cream. McDonald's fries work the best. I like ranch dressing on top of pizza...chicken too. Sheesh I'm making myself hungry, so I'm going to get off of this subject....NEXT!

7. Stupid people infuriate me. I USED to be patient. I'm not anymore. I hate being stuck behind the person with the Idaho license plate driving in Houston at a whopping 50mph on the highway. A highway that is posted 65mph. A highway that NO ONE drives slower than 70mph on. I especially hate being stuck behind them, and when I switch lanes to go around, they decide to cut back in front of me. I will rear-end your ass if you do that. I hate being stuck behind the person who doesn't seem to know that the pretty green light means GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

8. I used to be introverted. Yep. Bet you didn't know that. lol I wasn't really shy, per se, but I was really quiet until I got to know you or had something to add to the conversation. Otherwise, I sat and listened. Now, I could care less. I will shoot off at the mouth about anything and everything! lol

9. I hate feet. Feet DISGUST me. I don't care if they're clean and I watched you clean them. I don't care if they've been dipped in bleach. I don't care if you're a foot model. I don't care if you just had a pedicure. If you touch me with them, I will throw up all over your toesies.

10. I have completely run out of things to say! Yep. Weird.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

So...what's going on with me?

Well, I'm in hell. Yep.

Painful, electrical-shocky, cut off my arm, and rip out my spine hell. And I'm quite positive that "shocky" is not a word, but I don't care.

So, just about everyone knows the crap I go through with my spine, and if you don't...well then, you either don't pay attention to my random bitching from time to time, or you're new to the musings rantings blog.


Quick background:

Degenerative Disc Disease...few various, weird, sometimes scary accidents...a couple of herniated discs...random paralyzations of my arm from time to time...doctors sticking GINORMOUS needles into my spine and injecting it with steroids, because it's swollen....

Yeah. I could go into a LOT more detail, but well...I don't feel like it.

Besides, it's difficult to type with one hand.

Now you're all caught up.

Now, my spine has decided to stop cooperating at all. Apparently the abuse it has taken over the last couple of weeks of moving into a new office and getting it set up, has made it go on strike.

Anyone ever had to have their husband help get them undressed at night?

Get your mind out of the gutter...naughty, naughty. I can see where your brain went. It might have been fun for him, but not for me! HA!

Anyone ever need help getting dressed in the morning?? Hmm??

Raise your hand if you have...let me see them people. Ok, raise both hands if you needed help tying your shoes (or zipping up boots in my case)....HA! If you needed help you wouldn't be ABLE to raise both hands! HA!

I'm talking nonsense, I know. maybe my brain has gone into some weird, defensive reaction.

Thank god I have a doctor's appointment on Friday.

Otherwise, by the weekend, I would be a quivering mass of jelly that you could poke with a stick.