Thursday, July 17, 2008

My poor baby!

Ryan just will NOT stop screaming! Ughh. I've tried everything, but his poor little tummy is giving him hell! He doesn't have colic, because it doesn't last long enough or is consistent enough, but when I look back on these first couple of months I will remember that he was one of those impossible babies. There's just nothing I can do anymore. We've switched formulas and everything else the doctor has recommended, but he still gets the worst gas I've ever seen! His stomach will be rock hard for hours after eating, and he'll arch his back and scream his head off the whole time!

I've never made a better decision in my life than the one I made to stop smoking, but my poor nerves are so frazzled that sometimes I think that stepping on the porch and having one would help calm me down! lol I haven't stooped to actually doing it yet, but it's getting harder and harder not to think about it. Last night, I got so frustrated that I just had to leave the house entirely. I think I freaked Dean out, but I had a mini-breakdown and just walked out. I didn't do anything more than return some movies to Blockbuster and pick up some milk at Kroger's, so I wasn't gone long, but it helped.

I think I need to resume some form of a personal life again. It's not as easy as it sounds. I don't trust my kids to babysitters. Never have and never will, so I have to rely on family to give me a break every once in a while. Now that my mom has moved all the way to the northwest side of town off of 290, I don't really have any more family available. So, I think I'm going to have to sacrifice some time with Dean to just go out by myself and get away for a while! lol