Saturday, December 13, 2008

Mrs. Klutzoid

It's been one of those days....

To give you a little history, I am one of THOSE people who cannot seem to go a day without hurtung myself in some form or fashion. Not on purpose, of course.

In the past, starting from when I was REEEAAALLLLY little, I have:

- Gotten my arm stuck in the back of the chair so that my mom had to call 911 to have them get me out. We also lived in a really small town, so it was published in the paper. lol

- Received a rather large, deep gash on my forehead from jumping on the bed and smashing into the headboard. I was around 5 or so...

- Also received a large gash on the back of my head from falling in a fishing boat. I actually remember getting the stitches for that one...apparently I walked around with a partially shaved head for a while. lol

- Knocked myself jumping off the top bunk, doing a somersault, and landing on the couch below.

- Tore the ligaments in my knee from.....wait for it......walking. That's right. No falling, tripping, twisting, stubbing, or anything that could have otherwise caused injury....Just step, step, BOOM!

- Fell off a log 9 feet up in the air at band camp. Landed on my back. Sucked.

- Have worn every kind of brace imaginable...knee brace, wrist brace, slings, etc...

- Was attacked by a tumbleweed in Hereford....on 25 mile Ave. Yeah...Seriously! In my defense, that sucker was HUGE!!!! I remember thinking as it slammed into my back and I went flying, that a car should hurt a HELL of a lot more than that.

- Fell out of a moving car.............onto a sticker bush. Don't ask....I have no clue.

- Have fallen down so many flights of stairs, it's incredible I don't have brain damage. lol

- Almost fell off a balcony....there was LOTS of tequila involved in that one. Gee thanks mom.


You get the point, right????

Well, what did I do today??

I trip on thin air, somehow wind up twisting so that my face smacks a picture on the wall, drag my cheek ALL the way down (instead of rug burn, I have wall burn...yeah), hit a doorknob with my chin, and land on my stomach with my fist underneath, thereby effectively punching myself in the stomach. So, as I lay there with all the wind knocked out, making fish out of water faces, all I can think is....Oh my god, I think I broke the doorknob!


Travis Erwin said...

This psot reminds me of that kid song, No More Monkeys Jumping On The Bed.