Wednesday, December 31, 2008

It's amazing how time....crawls??

My baby is 7 months old today! Wow. I'd say it's amazing how time flies....but it's more appropriate to use the word, "crawls."

Jusging by these pics though, my little one will be walking before he crawls. God help me. lol

Monday, December 29, 2008

Dear Check-Out-Lady...

Dear Check-Out-Lady (aka: Erica..0r so the name tag says);

For GOD'S sake, do you REALLY have to be that slow?? Seriously? Does my grocery cart of milk, bread, peanut butter, and diapers confuse you? Or does it merely challenge you to ring up more than 1 gallon of milk at a time?? Hmmm?? Seriously. I would like an answer to this.

I mean, WHY does it take you ten minutes to ring up 7 items? Do you REALLY, really need a price-check on the bread? I don't give a crap if the sticker says $1.09, but it's ringing up as $1.29! I DON'T care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If it makes your life easier or faster (and mine at that), I will gladly, happily, willingly, pay the extra god damn 20 CENTS!

For god's sake, you don't have to call your friggin' manager over. I find it REALLY, really difficult to keep my patience when all I really want to do is pay the extra 20 cents so that I can get out of YOUR line! Sheesh. If you doubt MY impatience, please look behind me to see the other customers beating their heads on the conveyor belt in sheer exasperation. Or look at the lady behind me shooting you death glances and trying desperately to keep her 2 kids from stealing all the damn candy on the racks!

Do I have my Kroger's Savings Card???? At this point I don't give a damn, but yes. You already scanned it. Remember?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....It didn't go through?? How very curious. Sure, you can try it again, but hurry the hell up. And for fuck's sake, DON'T drop my fucking keys in your trash can again, or I just may snap and stab you repeatedly in the eye with them. Got it??

Oh, and when we get to the paying part -FINALLY- if I hand you a $20 bill for a total that rings up $16.40 and you hand me 60 cents in change AGAIN, I'm going to...I'm going to...well, I'm going to do something really, really bad! So there! And don't EVER argue with me about how much change I should get back!!!!!! Seriously. I will embarrass the hell out of you in public, at the top of my lungs. You found that out though, didn't you?

You should just quit. Actually you should quit everything. But you're so stupid, you may take that as meaning you should quit breathing. Although, I believe there is enough air in your head to sustain your life for years.

In short, you are too stupid to hold this job. In fact, I fear you are too stupid to shovel cow dung. If I ever have the misfortune to get into your checkout line again, I very well may have a heart attack and die. And my death will be on your hands.


One extremely pissed off shopper

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Anatomically Correct? of Dalton's new toys is this:The idea is to take the correct shape and "make" the picture. Well, Dalton was listing what he would need...
"I need a head and I need arms. "
"He needs a shirt too.."
"We need to make legs...
...and a pee pee."
"And he needs feet!"
Looking at it closer, well..yeah, I guess he does need a pee pee. lol

Friday, December 26, 2008

Christmased OUT!

It was a great Christmas this year of course, but I am GLAD it's ALMOST over! Just New Year's to get through now, and I'll be good.

Now, you did catch that "ALMOST" up there, didn't you? Because you're smart. lol And you're wondering what the heck that means, because Christmas is over, so what the heck??

Well, around here with my husband's family, the festivities last from Christmas Eve through the that would be..umm let's see..5 days. Yes, 5 WHOLE days of carting fussy kids, diaper bags, etc to spend almost a whole day at his grandma's house. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE and absolutely ADORE his family, but 5 days????

This is how it breaks down. Dean's family does all their "togetherness Christmas" on Christmas Eve, so we spend the day there. On Christmas Day, we started at my house in the morning (and then would have gone to MY mom's house which is an hour away, but she was sooooooo nice enough to bring food and come down to my house. lol). Then in the afternoon, I took Dalton to his dad's (which normally is a 10 minute process, but this time I wanted to watch him open his presents there, took a while.) After that, Dean and I went back up to his grandma's with the baby until after midnight.



I'm tired.

Get it?? lol

And there is MORE of it to go...Remember I said 5 whole days up there?? Yeah. We're now on Day 3.

So, here are some pics of the festivities, which I had a tremendous amount of fun participating in! lol

This one is at Dean's grandma's see all the people??? Yeah, that's not all of them. There's a bunch of people behind me in the kitchen, a bunch of people in the hallway on the rights, and a bunch of people at the table just out of the picture on the left.

Dean and Dalton..and a very curious little one...
My sister-in-law and Ryan
My little Santa Claus!

Eating the wrapping paper...of course. It looked pretty tasty to him apparently.

Dalton loved his tranformer-airplanes. See I DID get him his airplane that he wanted! lol

My bee-yoo-ti-ful mom and I

Monday, December 22, 2008

THE question

Dalton: Mommy......where did the baby come from?

*Insert mental image and sound effects of me choking on a mouthful of tea*

Me: *Cough, cough. Gasp* Well....he came from mommy's tummy.

Dalton: Oh....

Me: *thinking: whew, crisis averted*

Dalton: How did he get there?

Me: *oh jeez* The stork brought him and put him in mommy's tummy so he could grow. Then mommy went to the doctor when he was big enough, and they got him out.

Dalton: No....Santa brought him.

Me: Ok then. Santa brought him.

Dalton: Oh, ok.

Whew. Ok, that was easy.

Later on that day, I get this:

Dalton: Mommy?

Me: Yes?

Dalton: Santa needs to bring me another baby.

Me: WHAT???!! No.......we only need 1 baby. We don't need another one right now.

Dalton: But I want another brother.

Me: Uhh.....maybe later.

*Insert mental image of me running far, far away.*

Sunday, December 21, 2008

My poor sick baby!

Well, we finally got tired of the waiting game and took Ryan to an urgent care center.

He's been running an extremely high temperature since Thursday, and his doctor couldn't get him in until Monday. The past couple of days he's been refusing to eat, and today he screamed all day long. When we got there, his temperature was 104 (he had had a dose of Tylenol not an hour and a half before), so they immediately gave him a gigantic dose of Motrin...which he promptly puked. Yep. One sick baby. The doctor said if he had been just a little less alert than he was, she would have sent us straight to the ER.

Turns out he has a double ear infection (kinda obvious), but the doctor said his fever was a little too high to just be explained by that. So, he also got 2 chest x-rays (ruled out pneumonia). They also catheterized him to get some urine to test for a bladder infection. The poor baby also had to have blood drawn, because the doctor thinks he might have sepsis. Not quite sure why she thinks that, but we'll find out. The labs come back tomorrow, so we'll see.

In the meantime, they gave him a shot of Rocephin, which if you've ever had it, you know it BURNS LIKE HELL! They also gave him a prescription antibiotic, so hopefully he'll start to feel better soon. If the labs show that he has sepsis, they can start him on a treatment that can be done from home, but she said if he's still running a high fever they would be more comfortable admitting him in the hospital, so we're keeping our fingers crossed!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Jingle Bells

Oh, I feel so old! Last night was my eldest baby's FIRST school Christmas show! I was so proud! Even if all he did on stage was pick his nose......

Mine is the cutie in the blue shirt right in the middle!
Here he is looking at his best friend at school.

Checking the ladies out!
He's looking at the little girl in purple, like "Calm down already!" That little girl is probably THE loudest, friendliest, biggest ham I have ever seen. Actually, the little boy to the left of her is staring at her well as the other 2 little girls to the right of Dalton.

In other news, Ryan is still one sick baby. Last night was the second night in a row I have stayed up all night rocking him. 2nd night in a row for a 103 fever too. Last night was the first time that the Tylenol wouldn't help. His temp wouldn't go down, but it didn't go up either, so we avoided an ER trip. Poor thing. He puked all over himself...and me....twice. His fever was so high, all he could do was shiver and make this little whining noise over and over again. It about broke my heart!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

My babies

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Technical Support?

So.....I crashed my computer yesterday. Yeah. Want to know who fixed it????

My. Four. Year. Old.

Yeah. Not sure what he did, or how he did it, but after freaking out, throwing my hands up in the air, leaving the house to smoke a much needed cigarette (which takes me all of 2's been witnessed), I come in, and...........Dalton says, "Look mommy...I touched this. It's working now. I fixed it!

I feel dumb.

So, I leave you with this comic that my husband made wrote drew....whatever the hell it's called when one designs his own comic strip. So there.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Christmas List

I am a horrible, horrible mother......I have not started my Christmas shopping yet.

Yes, I realize there are only 10 days left.

No, I don't particularly care. I don't have any particular urge to rush out and buy a million things my 4 year old will never play with after the first month.

He is already getting a million things from his daddy, his grandma Trish and grandpa Paul are getting him a few things, my hubby's HUGE EXTENDED family (grandma Marla, grandpa Rick, etc) are also getting him and Ryan gifts.....yeah...our Element will be FULL of things to cart home and store in his disaster area of a room.

Don't get me wrong, I AM planning on getting gifts for him! I'm not THAT horrible! I think we're just going to get him the Santa gifts this year. :-) Plus a full stocking, of course.

So, I finally got around to asking Dalton what he wanted for Christmas a couple of weeks ago....after the usual (cars, trucks, etc), I hear THIS today. "Mommy, I want Santa to bring me an airplane."

Me: You want a toy airplane??

Dalton: No..........I want a REAL airplane. One that flies in the sky!

He doesn't ask for much, does he??

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Mrs. Klutzoid

It's been one of those days....

To give you a little history, I am one of THOSE people who cannot seem to go a day without hurtung myself in some form or fashion. Not on purpose, of course.

In the past, starting from when I was REEEAAALLLLY little, I have:

- Gotten my arm stuck in the back of the chair so that my mom had to call 911 to have them get me out. We also lived in a really small town, so it was published in the paper. lol

- Received a rather large, deep gash on my forehead from jumping on the bed and smashing into the headboard. I was around 5 or so...

- Also received a large gash on the back of my head from falling in a fishing boat. I actually remember getting the stitches for that one...apparently I walked around with a partially shaved head for a while. lol

- Knocked myself jumping off the top bunk, doing a somersault, and landing on the couch below.

- Tore the ligaments in my knee from.....wait for it......walking. That's right. No falling, tripping, twisting, stubbing, or anything that could have otherwise caused injury....Just step, step, BOOM!

- Fell off a log 9 feet up in the air at band camp. Landed on my back. Sucked.

- Have worn every kind of brace imaginable...knee brace, wrist brace, slings, etc...

- Was attacked by a tumbleweed in Hereford....on 25 mile Ave. Yeah...Seriously! In my defense, that sucker was HUGE!!!! I remember thinking as it slammed into my back and I went flying, that a car should hurt a HELL of a lot more than that.

- Fell out of a moving car.............onto a sticker bush. Don't ask....I have no clue.

- Have fallen down so many flights of stairs, it's incredible I don't have brain damage. lol

- Almost fell off a balcony....there was LOTS of tequila involved in that one. Gee thanks mom.


You get the point, right????

Well, what did I do today??

I trip on thin air, somehow wind up twisting so that my face smacks a picture on the wall, drag my cheek ALL the way down (instead of rug burn, I have wall burn...yeah), hit a doorknob with my chin, and land on my stomach with my fist underneath, thereby effectively punching myself in the stomach. So, as I lay there with all the wind knocked out, making fish out of water faces, all I can think is....Oh my god, I think I broke the doorknob!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Ryan Chunky-Monkey Ryan in for his 6 mo. appointment on Wednesday. I had missed his original appointment due to the funeral in AR.

He had been sick anyways the week before, and I know they wouldn't give him his shots if he was running a fever, so I delayed it a couple of more days anyways.

Of course, I usually take pics, butttttttttt..........the batteries in my camera were dead. I took some on my phone, but I still need to get the USB cable that allows me to download pics onto the computer, so you'll have to wait for those.

Anyways...he is STILL a big boy! lol He is evening out a little bit though. Currently, he's 17 lbs 13 oz, and 27 in. long!

His doc says since he's been sick and not really eating as much as usual, that he had probably lost some weight. lol

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Secret Ingredients??

Ok, so you know when you're on yahoo, how those ads pop up on the right side of the screen advertising various online or download games???

Well, THIS caught my eye:

Apparently the name of the game is Chocolatier 2: Secret Ingredients.

To me it looks like a gigantic pile of sh**!!

I wonder what the "Secret Ingredients" really are.

What is wrong with me!?

Ryan was sitting in my lap trying his hardest to bend over and grab his feet.

I laid him on his back across my lap, so that he had easier access.

Well, I noticed while he was chewing on his socked foot that his nose was starting to run.

What do I do????

I grabbed his foot and wiped his nose with it.

Yeah. I have no idea.

Monday, December 8, 2008

For all you pregos!

I'm not entirely sure what it is with this time of year, but I have noticed now and in the past, (as it was with me) that there are a LOT of prego's walking around. Since, I can't figure out how to link to my previous posts, I had to copy/paste this!

So, this is for you...
...and I'm leaving someone out here....uhhh....
Oh yeah! Casey!

-Pregnant women do NOT glow. They sweat, have pimples, and get flushed cheeks. It is not pretty. People who tell you that you're glowing, are trying to be nice. They are lying to you.

- Your hair growth rate is ri-DIC-ulous! Sure, some if it is hormones, some of it is prenatal vitamins, but the end result is the same. You come out looking like a werewolf.

- Shaving becomes a feat of acrobatic talent. I feel like I'm trying out for cirque du soleil. And the sheer difficulty of that leads to giving up shaving...which leads to more of the werewolf look.

- Your primal instincts kick in. In my case, I growled at a waiter who took my fries off the table before I was done. He brought them back. lol

-The piggy look sucks. And anyone who tells you that it will go away after you give birth is lying. It only goes away if you happen to be one of those people who gets off on OCD exercising. And if you ARE one of those, I feel so inclined to warn CPS that maybe your newborn isn't being looked after. *sticking out my tongue*

- Not being able to write with a pen because your fingers resemble sausages really sucks.

- Not being able to wear any shoes other than flip flops because your toes resemble sausages really sucks.

- Feeling like you're living in Chernoble because your ass is spewing noxious, radioactive gases against your will sucks. It makes you hope your baby doesn't come out with 2 heads or 4 arms from being in such close proximity.

- Suddenly hating your favorite food is sad. Suddenly having a craving for sushi with mayo and onions is even sadder. Thank GOD I don't have that craving, but it gets my point across.

- Getting stuck on the doctor's table flat on your back for the first time is a unique experience. This is the point where you realize that the whole Life Alert thing is a pretty good idea after all!- Realizing that you'd be too embarrassed to actually USE Life Alert and having a 5 minute fantasty imagining all the different scenarios you could be stuck on your back and different ways to roll yourself over and get up is unique to pregnant women and seniors. Kind of sad, huh?

- Your mind wanders CONSTANTLY. You get pregnancy brain, which means you drift off into lala land quite often. You forget words you've known all your life (well, not forget, but you have the tip-of-the-tongue experience a LOT). This is a potentially embarrassing situation. Especially if you are in public, like maybe in the middle of ordering your favorite, complicated, drink from Starbucks. "Yes, I'd like a triple mocha caramel...uhh...what's that coffee, but it's not coffee....uhhh...YEAH...cappucino..that's it!" Having it happen at work really sucks too. "Yes boss, I finished the project on the...well, the umm..thingy...that has a chart, that's shaped like an.,..umm...well, uh you know."


1. If I "suggest" that a certain food looks, smells, or tastes good, I'm not telling you this for my health. It means I have a craving.
2. If I have a craving, I NEED it! And YES, if I don't get it, I may murder something.
3. If I get a craving, and it takes you longer than 20 minutes to get it, don't get annoyed if by the time you get home with it, I don't want it anymore, and the thought of it makes me sick.
4. Don't ever tell me that my pants look tight....for your own safety...especially if I have had a craving in the last 24 hours. And ESPECIALLY if I had a craving that did not get fulfilled.
5. If I need help with ANYTHING, it is your cue to tell me to sit down and rest and to let you do it.
6. You should automatically offer your help instead of waiting for me to ask.
7. Don't shake any body parts (i.e. Your legs) It annoys me...and no, I don't have a particular reason. It just does.
8. Don't fart. Even in your sleep.
9. Don't EVER look at another woman, in person OR on TV. It may not annoy me normally, but NOW I am pregnant, fat, and ugly, and it's your fault.
10. Pregnant women fart, burp, get heartburn, throw-up on a daily basis, and every other disgusting thing you can imagine. Get over it and pretend you didn't notice it.
11. Restrain your flailing limbs when you're sleeping. I wake up enough during in the middle of the night to pee. I don't need you adding to it. Before you comment, read #12.
12. Hormonal brains are not logical.
13. So WHAT if a movie doesn't make sense!? I don't care if the main character could have done something in 10 minutes instead of 1 and a half hours. Read #12 again.
14. Your job is to make me comfortable. If I need a back rub at 3am, I need a back rub.
15. You should ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS carry your cell phone with you. I certainly don't need to mention that it comes in handy if...oh let's say..I go into labor! But it also helps if I have a craving and you're not home.
16. Excuse me if I don't want your tongue shoved down my throat when I'm nauseous. And we won't mention sex either. You'll be lucky if I decide to EVER do that again. After all, it's your fault that I'm pregnant.
17. If I say it's your fault, then it is.
18. Don't argue. I'm always right. We can go back to negotiating AFTER the hormones are gone.
19. You can't win an argument. Don't try. You'll just wind up sleeping on the couch.
20. If you're annoying me, then stop doing whatever it is you were doing.
21 Playing computer games 24/7 annoys me.
22. Drinking something straight from the bottle or jug annoys me...and makes me want to puke.
23. Cutting your toenails in front of me makes me gag.
24. Feet are gross. Don't put yours near me.
25. I can smell you a mile away after you've done anything physical. It makes me gag. Don't get offended if I tell you about it. I don't care. I just want you to fix it.
26. If I want you to spend time with me, that means NOW. Not in 20 minutes. The "Ok, let me finish this first." doesn't apply to you.
27. I don't like beards, or anything that may become a beard if left unshaven. Fix it. Immediately. ESPECIALLY if I've made a comment.
28. Innocent statements, observations, and comments have a deeper meaning. Figure it out, and do it.
29. Taking what I say at face value is hazardous to your health. Learn to read between the lines.
30. I reserve the right to change my mind about anything, anytime, anywhere.
31. If you do something to embarrass me, even if you have no clue that you're doing it, I will pretend that I don't know you.
32. I get pissed of EXTREMELY easily. So what if I remind you of Satan? Get used to it. It'll pass eventually.
33. I cry at stupid things. This will get worse the fatter I get. Get used to it. Your job is to console me.
34. Don't touch me when you're consoling me. It only reminds me that I'm pregnant, fat, and ugly, and it'll make me cry harder.
35. Pregnant women do get horny. If I actually do deign to gift you that privilege, don't turn me down because the baby belly scares or repulses you. Close your eyes.
36. I reserve the right to make up new rules at any moment.
37. You don't have any input- anywhere, anytime, or for any reason. Refer back to #18 and #19.

Things I *Love*

...said with a bit of sarcasm

1. Waking up to a screaming midnight...and again at 3 am.

2. My 6 month old blowing raspberries at me....with a mouth full of green beans

3. My 4 year old telling me he's going to kick my butt...wonder where he got that one?

4. The toilet overflowing because my 4 year old has (yet again) flushed some random, mysterious object down it that we'll never see again.

5. Realizing that I haven't seen a pocketful of change lately...that was dumped on the bathroom counter....right across from the toilet.

6. Going through 12 cans of formula in one 4-6 boxes of infant cereal and roughly 30 fruits and veggies (2nd foods sizes).

7. Realizing that my 6 month old consumes more food than a dairy cow.

8. Receiving phone calls....10 seconds after I get my 6 month old down for a nap....only to find out it's an automated telemarketer calling in regards to my final notice on a factory warranty....on something I don't even own.

9. Turning around to see my 4 year old walking across a freshly-mopped kitchen a pair of 4 inch heels.

10. Slipping on above referenced freshly-mopped kitchen floor to retrieve band-aids to fix the boo-boo caused by 4 year old slipping and 4 inch heels.

11. Being outwitted by a 4 year old. (Read previous post)

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Outwitted by a 4 year old

ninja turtles Pictures, Images and Photos

Dalton: I don't like spaghetti!

Me: What? Yes you do! Eat it! (repeat this for an hour and a half)

Dalton: I'M. NOT. HUNGRY!

Me: (knowing that Dalton is obsessed with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) Don't you want to grow up and be strong like the Ninja Turtles?? They eat their spaghetti.

Dalton: No. They eat pizza.

The spaghetti is still sitting on the table. I gave up.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Some pics from the funeral